Declutter Your Relationship
Have you finished spring cleaning yet? It’s time to take it a step further…
Everyone has heard about the benefits of decluttering in regards to organization and efficient use of time and space. You can’t make space for new things in your closet until you get rid of the old stuff you don’t use. You can’t access the things you need and love if there are piles of stuff in the way. It drains emotional energy to walk past a cluttered area or sort through things every time you need something. How much better do you feel after sorting through and eliminating all of the unnecessary stuff that naturally accumulates? Isn’t it a great feeling when you make room for the things you really want most? Whether you are making room for things you already have, or leaving space open for new things to enter into your life, it feels good. If you’ve ever spent time decluttering your closet, your home, or anything else then you know what I’m talking about. What if you took the same approach with your relationship?
Are you thinking WTF, a relationship is not a closet? Well, you’d be right, but many of the same principles apply. Just as the level of organization in your home mirrors your emotional state, the amount of clutter you allow to build up in your relationship is a strong indicator of relationship satisfaction. Most couples can identify multiple things that are interfering with their relationship or preventing them from having the kind of relationship they want. This relationship clutter can be dealt with in the same way as you would tackle an overly full, disorganized closet. Think of something that is currently getting in the way of you having the kind of relationship you want. Some of the most common are:
Unmet expectations
Financial stress
Insecurities
Resentment
Interference by others
These are just a few. Let’s take a brief look at the first item, unmet expectations. Ever experienced this yourself? Ever had your partner hint or tell you that you were not meeting their expectations? Most of us have. I can’t count how many times I was hoping that the man in my life would magically know what I wanted, and make it happen. Have you ever thought, “We’ve been together for years, if he loved me then I shouldn’t have to tell him what I want.”
This is one of the most common and pervasive forms of relationship clutter. Most of us are guilty of this one. Whether we admit it or not, most of us, at one time or another, expected our partner to read our mind or pick up on a subtle hint instead of asking for what we want. Perhaps because it is such a commonly used strategy, many people believe that it is a reasonable expectation. Maybe you are thinking, “If someone really loves you, they should know what you want/need.” It’s okay. You are not alone in this thinking. However, it’s not getting you the results that you want for a reason. This way of thinking can only lead to unmet expectations.
There can be any number of things cluttering up your relationship. Things from the past, current clutter, and even future clutter that needs to be stopped in its tracks. If you identified with something on the above list or came up with one of your own, don’t panic. It’s just clutter. You can throw it out; the same way you tossed that old impulse-purchased and regretted-the-instant-I-got-it-home sweater that was taking up space in your closet for years.
Take a decluttering approach to your relationship. Identify what’s getting in the way of you getting the kind of relationship you want, and make a keep or toss decision.